{"title":"Office","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"shit-show-colored-pencils","title":"Shit Show Colored Pencils","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eShit Show.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho doesn’t love colored pencils? 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It's lo-tech 'social networking' fun.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by: Tabitha White \u003cspan\u003e\u0026amp; Carl Mitsch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Fred \u0026 Friends","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39491129901134,"sku":"","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/daily-mood-desk-signs-729.webp?v=1727305180"},{"product_id":"ramen-notes","title":"Ramen Notes","description":"\u003cspan\u003ePick up a pack of RAMEN NOTES for instant memos every time. Each reusable zipper-lock bag contains over 150 3-1\/2 x 3 inch printed sticky notes - perfect for jotting down grocery lists, quick reminders, or just drawing oodles of doodles. Does not contain MSG.\u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Fred \u0026 Friends","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39540066156622,"sku":"","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/ramen-notes-sticky-839.webp?v=1727306459"},{"product_id":"borrow-my-pen","title":"Borrow My Pen","description":"\u003ch4\u003ePens guaranteed to leave an impression.\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou know those pens that end up in your pocket or purse promoting Joe's Garage or Nancy's House of Insurance? Well the sick minds at Fred have taken it one step too far with this subversive collection of immortal advertising keepsakes. Hand 'em out to your friends, your parole officer, your boss... when you say 'Borrow My Pen?' you'll ALWAYS make an impression. Includes (8) memorable styles.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Fred \u0026 Friends","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39754056630350,"sku":"","price":9.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/borrow-my-pen-pens-808.webp?v=1727311339"},{"product_id":"take-a-deep-breath-journal","title":"Take A Deep Breath Journal","description":"\n\u003cp\u003eTake a deep breath and remember who you are\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"Flex-sc-14t19kd-0 Column-sc-4nf49i-0 fQrFYk kAARzm\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Golden Gems","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39899728773198,"sku":"","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/take-a-deep-breath-journal-journals-364.webp?v=1727312140"},{"product_id":"smiley-face-pocket-journal","title":"Smiley Face Pocket Journal","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e* Vegan leather bound. \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e* 160 dotted pages \u003cbr\u003e* 70lb ivory paper \u003cbr\u003e* Foil pressed \u003cbr\u003e* Elastic closure \u003cbr\u003e* Flip up \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade in United States of America\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Golden Gems","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39899729526862,"sku":"","price":8.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/smiley-face-pocket-journal-journals-877.webp?v=1727312151"},{"product_id":"skull-coffee-pen","title":"Skull Coffee Pen","description":"\u003cp\u003eSustainability can be fun!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Seven Year Pen is made with care in a Swiss factory. It contains a large ink supply, precision parts and - most importantly - it's refillable! So no matter how much you write, you don't have to throw away the whole pen when the ink is used up!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSuper smooth black ink\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHigh quality, medium tip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnough ink to write a line that's 4 - 5km long!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Seltzer Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39907438297166,"sku":"PEN-004-EA","price":9.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/skull-coffee-pen-pens-616.webp?v=1727312437"},{"product_id":"as-per-my-last-email-pen","title":"As Per My Last Email Pen","description":"\u003cp\u003eFine Point + Black Ink Novelty Bic Pen Designed in Cambridge Ontario and Professionally Printed and Shipped from Canada\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pretty by Her","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39907438362702,"sku":"","price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/as-per-my-last-email-pen-pens-422.webp?v=1727312447"},{"product_id":"whos-counting-daily-living-calendar","title":"Who's Counting - Daily Living Calendar","description":"\n\u003ch4 data-uw-rm-heading=\"level\" role=\"heading\" aria-level=\"3\"\u003eKeeping tabs on life.\u003cbr role=\"presentation\" data-uw-rm-sr=\"\"\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMany of us are at a place in life where we consider events like showering, wearing pants, and avoiding the day drink, major milestones. 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Pencils\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003eI guess you want a present now, huh\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003ehappy. birthday. to. me.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003eoh, you're sooo special today \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003ehey, at least I remembered \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003eyou're not old, you're ancient \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003eyou're lucky I have to be nice to you\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003ego on. cry if you want to.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ci\u003eslightly expired\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils Made in the USA\u003cbr\u003eBox Size: 7 \u003cspan\u003e½\" H x 2 ½\" W x ⅜\" L\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850258276627,"sku":"BIR-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-fucking-birthdays-946.webp?v=1727316920"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-grammar-police","title":"Pencils for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eYOUR ANNOYING.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAhahaha. It’s so easy to get under your skin. Just wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you’re. Welcome to the grammar club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about other people’s grammatical errors. Trust me on this point, you're still making some..\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eGrammar Police Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850260242707,"sku":"GRA-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-grammar-police-368.webp?v=1727316927"},{"product_id":"excuse-pencils-for-introverts","title":"Excuse Pencils for Introverts","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePEOPLE SUCK.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nThat’s why you prefer to stay inside with your stuffed animal collection. But sometimes it’s a little hard to admit that in public. So we’ve carefully crafted a few extremely plausible excuses to get you out of all those pesky social obligations. Like happy hour. Your niece’s school play. Office parties. Your wedding.\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eIntrovert Excuse Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850262995219,"sku":"INT-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/excuse-pencils-for-introverts-287.webp?v=1727316932"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-dad-jokes","title":"Pencils for Dad Jokes","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSO FUNNY, I FORGOT TO LAUGH.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nWhere in the heck are you and the other dads getting these so-called “jokes” from anyway, Corny Dads Quarterly? I mean, come on now… Does every conversation need a fart reference? Are you all a hive mind? I’m kidding, Dad. I totally respect the dad comedy. You’ve always said that money doesn’t grow on trees, but maybe dad jokes do!\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eCool Dads Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850264994067,"sku":"DAD-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-dad-jokes-639.webp?v=1727316938"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-first-world-problems","title":"Pencils for First World Problems","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAWWWWW....\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nI hear you're having a bad day. First of all, your wifi sucks, so Shameless is totally lagging. Plus, it’s 95 outside but you're shivering under a blanket because the AC is SO freezing, and now your gluten-free muffin was the BEST gluten-free muffin you've ever had until you realized they gave you the one with almonds. And we both know you said NO NUTS.\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eFirst World Problems Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850267549971,"sku":"FIR-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-first-world-problems-351.webp?v=1727316943"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-happy-hour","title":"Pencils for Happy Hour","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePOUR ME ANOTHER, PLEASE.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nAhhh, it’s finally that magical time of the day again: when you can put all your office woes aside and crack open a cold one. Or twelve. Here’s to another chance to find the answers to life’s questions at the bottom of a bottle. So what if it’s only 10 AM, who says happy hour has to start at five, anyway? Just don’t tell Brent from HR, okay?\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eHappy Hour Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850269090067,"sku":"HAP-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-happy-hour-646.webp?v=1727316949"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-little-white-lies","title":"Pencils for Little White Lies","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOMG, Crossfit? YES.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI looooove working out. If I could, I would do it 24\/7. It’s just that I have all these obligations and such since I took that sabbatical from work. Oh, yeah, technically they called it “fired” but I was going to take a creative break anyway. And I LOVE my free time! I mean, I don’t really have any, of course, and that’s why I’m not hitting the gym at the moment....\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eLittle White Lies Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850270105875,"sku":"LIT-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-little-white-lies-434.webp?v=1727316955"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-midlife-crisis","title":"Pencils for Midlife Crisis","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWHO SAYS EXISTENTIAL DREAD CAN'T BE FUN?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nCongratulations, you’ve made it to middle age! All those years of being “financially responsible” means you can finally buy a motorcycle and the bitchin’ leather jacket to match. Or maybe a year-long silent meditation retreat is more your speed. Either way, you’ve earned it, after all. At least that’s what you’re going to tell yourself on the way to surf camp.\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eMidlife Crisis Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850271580435,"sku":"MIC-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-midlife-crisis-319.webp?v=1727316960"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-okay-moms","title":"Pencils for Okay Moms","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCONGRATULATIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nYou're the world's okayest mom! Please don’t take offense! Face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, what with their spotless car seats, healthy and organic snacks packed neatly in recyclable containers, and quick-draw first aid kits. Okay moms are where it’s at. Okay moms are where you want to live: sippy cup wine, the five-second rule, and naps that overlap into second naps.\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eOkay Moms Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850272858387,"sku":"OKA-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-okay-moms-217.webp?v=1727316966"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-procrastinators","title":"Pencils for Procrastinators","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTwo weeks.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGo ahead, ask me anything. Invariably, the answer will be “two weeks.” Wondering when I’ll get my grades up? Two weeks. Get my grades up and start working out? Two weeks. Get my grades up, start working out, call my dad, visit my Nana in Florida, get married, buy a house, file for divorce, start my own business and run for office? Two weeks, pal. Two. Weeks.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eProcrastinators Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850273710355,"sku":"PRO-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-procrastinators-340.webp?v=1727316972"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-teachers","title":"Pencils for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIT'S A SNOW DAY SOMEWHERE...\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eTeachers Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850274595091,"sku":"TEA-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-teachers-920.webp?v=1727316978"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-middle-child","title":"Pencils for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWHO ARE YOU AGAIN?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Middle Child Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850275545363,"sku":"MID-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-the-middle-child-562.webp?v=1727316984"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-office","title":"Pencils for The Office","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOh, cool.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s Monday again. Feels like I just clocked out. Know what I love about Mondays? Nothing. In fifteen minutes, I’ll be sleeping with my eyes open for an hour-long meeting about employee morale followed by a “surprise” birthday cake and card everyone half-heartedly signs while doing a slow eye-roll. Which is the same eye-roll I’ll be making when I read it, ‘cuz it’s my birthday and even that won’t fix a Monday.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Office Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850277380371,"sku":"OFF-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-the-office-986.webp?v=1727316989"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-passive-aggressive","title":"Pencils for The Passive Aggressive","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's fine.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI mean, if you want, I can write an essay detailing the extent to which I’m fine. I’ll even laminate the cover if you need me to do that, too. I don’t mind at all. If that’s what you need to prove that I’m fine, I’ll do it. Heck, I might even make it a book, find a publisher and go on \u003ci\u003eEllen\u003c\/i\u003e to promote the release, proving how fine I am. I mean if that’s what you need. I’ll do it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Passive Aggressive Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850279051539,"sku":"PAS-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-the-passive-aggressive-884.webp?v=1727316995"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-truth","title":"Pencils for Truth","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm a fake vegan.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHey, wouldn’t it be nice if people just told the truth every once in a while? I mean, nobody wants to hear that Susan thinks your baby is weird looking, but does she have to go on and on about how ADORABLE he is, only to snicker with the entire Human Resources department behind your back? Susan, Susan, Susan. Just wait til you have a baby.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eTruth Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850280558867,"sku":"TRU-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-truth-482.webp?v=1727317000"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-writers-block","title":"Pencils for Writer's Block","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTIRED OF FEELING LIKE A BONE-DRY HACK?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\nSo the wordsmith’s well has run dry? Try this pack of Writer’s Block pencils. If these pencils don’t help you churn out regurgitated ideas and probably a vampire, I’ll eat my hat. It’s a fedora, by the way. Cool vampires wear fedoras now. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it. Or in your book. Either way, you’re gonna need these pencils ASAP. Even crap won’t write itself.\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eWriter's Block Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850283180307,"sku":"WRI-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-writers-block-129.webp?v=1727317006"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-zero-fucks-old","title":"Pencils for Zero Fucks","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\r\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eNo fucks.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us really liked it when you were just a simple, caring, average Joe. So kudos to you! Even though you couldn't give a F. We know. Fresh out.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eZero Fucks Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45850286358803,"sku":"ZER-P","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-zero-fucks-743.webp?v=1727317012"},{"product_id":"ask-me-about-my-cats-nameplate-home-office","title":"Ask Me About My Cats Nameplate - Home + Office","description":"\u003cp\u003eWant to start a purr-fect conversation at work? 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id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHERE KITTY, KITTY...\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI have a surpise for youuuu.... Darn it, where are you? Remember that time you told me you wished you could be a little policeman? I’m sure you said that. And I’ve got JUST the costume for that! Come on, kitty, kitty. My Instagram followers are waiting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eCat People Pencils\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e8-pack Standard No. 2 Pencils\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2023 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49226605625619,"sku":null,"price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0262\/1433\/4542\/files\/pencils-for-cat-people-207.webp?v=1727323602"}],"url":"https:\/\/recreationgifts.com\/collections\/office-1.oembed?page=8","provider":"Recreation Gifts + Supply","version":"1.0","type":"link"}