I'd never yelled the word "motherf*ck!" in front of small children until that day I stepped on my first Lego from hell. Sorry, kiddos, but that was simply unavoidable. And that's the day my baby-sitting career ended. Too bad. I hear the hourly rates are now sky-high. Probably pays more than my current career as a serial philanderer, gosh darn it. Just think, I could be eating frozen pizza rolls right out of the bag in someone else's tricked-out kitchen right now if only I'd played my cards right.